I came to this country in 2000, on the last day in December. I was 20 years old and having the time of my life. The first ten years here, oh my god, I enjoyed them so much. I was always busy, working all the time, meeting people, going out to the cinema, cycling, fiestas everywhere, friends from here and there, and girlfriends. Life felt successful.
I fled a warzone
Back in the country where I was born and grew up, things were very different. I had a very difficult upbringing and family issues. As a teenager, I didn’t have the chance to have fun due to the civil war, so I made up for it in my 20s. But as I settled into life in the UK, it started to affect me, and I began questioning the things that had gone on for me as a child and the abuse I experienced from so called ‘members of the community’. I remembered how nobody had listened to me. It affected me very badly.
Safe in the UK I started to recognise what had actually gone on, and it really messed with me. On top of that I started to see how the civil war had impacted my safety, my sanity!
I made a mistake
I stopped enjoying life and started taking drugs. I started selling my stuff, speakers and clothes. Four years later and everything was gone. I had four bicycles, and they were gone. I had some nice things in life, working as a concierge, making money, but it was all gone. Starting hard drugs was the biggest mistake I ever made.
I lived on the streets
In 2019, I was homeless, living on the streets. People tried to help me many times, but I didn’t want it. I wanted to die. I felt my life was worthless and I didn’t care. The other people on the street though, the love they showed me – I was floored. Even though I was on the street, the love and the warmth I got from the group I was in was incomparable. I swear I felt like a king, although I was hungry, skinny and dirty. They looked after me big time. I think they could tell I was going through a rough time.
I found Emmaus
I had heard about Emmaus a long time before applying but always refused it. About two years ago, the guys that were looking after me mentioned it again and I was on my last hope, last everything. I had stopped eating and became very skinny. I had overdosed not long before, and while I carried on taking drugs, it wasn’t in the same way. I hated it and wanted a change. I thought I wanted to die, but when I nearly died everything changed. I said I’d go for it, got myself clean, which was not easy, and filled in the application form. Then after meeting the support manager and support workers, I came to Emmaus Bristol. I had been homeless for five years by that point.
I attained refugee status
Emmaus has no idea what they’ve done for me. I swear, you cannot put it on paper. I can’t explain it. They helped me get my refugee status and got everything sorted by referring me to the amazing local Law Centre and by being very patient with me, supporting me at immigration meetings and helping me keep my head together. There were times I felt hopeless, but the team lifted my spirits and told me to have faith.
I thought it was going to take five years or more because it’s so complicated, but it only took three months. When I came here in 2000, my country was in a civil war. We were killing each other, and I lived in one of the most horrible, dangerous areas. I grew up there, so I’ve seen hurt, I’ve seen blood, I’ve seen terrible things in and outside of my home. When my lawyer advised I apply for refugee status, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t do it when I was younger, why would I now? I didn’t feel like an asylum seeker. I’ve been in this country 25 years, I didn’t see myself as a refugee. I felt British! But I did it and everything I said in my interview about what had happened to me was accepted; they understood the hell of my past.
I can now make a life here
It took a few days to sink in that I could stay, but I’m ready to move on with my life now. I can work, travel, study, I can do anything. I’m confident now, happy. I want to get a job, a place to live and a girlfriend one day hopefully. Emmaus can help me move out too, it’s amazing. I honestly don’t know what I would have done. Bristol will be my city, so I’ll be here whenever they need me, for volunteering, painting, cleaning the toilet, I’d do anything!
I’ve found happiness
I’m happy with my life now and I just want a normal job, with a normal salary. I was thinking of a sweeper job. Happiness to me is music, bicycles, nature, and bird watching, so I want time to do that. I even did a bicycle mechanic course through Emmaus. I’m an early bird, and I wouldn’t mind sweeping the street in the morning from 5am to 2 or 3pm and then having the day for me. I’d be very happy with that.
Emmaus has supported me with everything. They’ve been my angels. The support team has been so patient and has done an exceptional job. I wouldn’t have done it without all of them. They have no idea how much it meant every time they would come and say you’re doing great, or this is going to be great. Those simple words helped so much. From the inside, I would giggle like a 2-year-old. It’s amazing how just a few words or an acknowledgment can fix your week. I learnt that from here and will use it for myself, it’s so powerful.
